You're gone, but you're in my memory always.

Hey Big Bro!

You're in heaven now. It's unbelieavable. It feels like a dream. I can't believe you're gone. Nothing can even begin to cover how much I miss you.

I dreamed about you this night, and in the morning you were gone. Alex woke me up and told me something terrible had happened. We went to our mom's place, and I was screaming to Alex to tell me what had happened. I was so sure it had something to do with you. It's so crazy. One day I am the proudest little sister to an amazing brother and suddenly I don't have a brother anymore.

As soon as I opened the door, everyone were staring at me, and Kari came and hugged me and Alex hugged mom, and everyone were crying.

''What's going on?'' I asked, pushing Kari away from me.

But I already kind of knew. Tears were already streaming down my cheeks.

''Your brother. He's dead.''

That's what mom said. I could never believe I'd be hearing those words like that one day. I covered my mouth, shook my head. Spent the next four hours screaming outside. I wanted to say 'not my brother'. 'Anyone but my brother'. But every time I opened my mouth, the only thing coming out of my mouth was screams.

I want my big brother back. He's the closest family I have. And the best brother in the universe. I was so proud to be your lil sis. I'm still so proud. And this hurts so much. I never thought it was possible for something to hurt so much. Or for a person to cry this much.

You'd tell me to chin up. To laugh a little. To not be silly.

I love you so much. This is so unbelieavable for me.

I wish I'd seen you more. Hugged you more when I had the chance.

You were always so nice to me. Such an amazing brother. You always took me out when I was little and our parents didn't have time. You played with me. Growing up you always protected me. When I was old enough you took me out partying with you and your friends. And you were overly-protective over me. And you proudly told everyone 'this is my sister'. That's what you said in the dream I had tonight about you as well. You smiled proudly, saying 'this is my sister' and showing me off. I love you. I love you so much.

Who will protect me now?

Who will love me?

Who will be my big brother?

Someone stole my brother. Someone killed him. I can't believe it. You're not here. You're gone. How will I ever get over losing my big brother?

You always told me that when I get a boyfriend, I have to take him to your first, so you can accept him.

You'd fight for me through anything.

I'll never get to introduce no boyfriends to you. My children will never get to know the best onkle in the universe. And what's even worse -

Your children will grow up without a father.

Leo was so upset, he slammed every wall in the house. He's lost his father. His superhero. Katja is devastated.

''My loooooove'', she cried. ''My loveeeeeee is gone.''

Her first love. You two had an on-and-off-relationship since you were fifteen. One kid together.

I hope they grow up to look just like you.

And when I get a son, I'll name him Alejandro, after you.

I wonder if they have computers up in heaven. I hope they do. I hope you can sit there and game and surf and read when you're not busy watching over all of the ones who are left here, missing and loving you.

I want you to know, that you're the best brother in the universe. You were the light of my life, the one I turned to when things felt bad. Not that I ever talked to you about it, but you were one of those people who just made me feel better just by looking at you and your smile. You had that effect on everyone.

I can't believe I'll never get to hug you again. I'll never be able to feel your arms wrapping around me, reminding me I've got a Big Bro to watch my back.

I still childishly hope that it will just be a dream. I can't have lost you. I can't be brother-less. Maybe you're alive, and all of this was just a misunderstanding. How can you die? You're iron-man – superman.

You're my brother Alejandro.

Forever and always.

I love you so much and I miss you so terribly.

I don't want to write the three words yet ... I'm not ready.